


A year

by AbundantiaTheWitch



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye, markplier - Fandom
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 17:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20261821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbundantiaTheWitch/pseuds/AbundantiaTheWitch
Summary: It's been a year. Mark still isn't okay.





	A year

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in over a year, sorry

It’s been a year. Mark woke up to light gently pushing through a gap in the curtains. It was a warm, sunny day but inside was dark and hollow. He felt nothing but aching pain over something that happened a year ago. 

Tears slipped down his face but he made no effort to stop them. He was allowed to feel like this, he told himself, He was allowed. So why is it so hard to face.

It’s been a year but he still cries.

Mark sat up, pushing off the covers from where they were piled on the bed. The bed that now was constantly cold on one side. He got up and stumbled to the bathroom where he splashed cold water on his face. He didn’t feel ready. His phone lit up with messages from friends. He felt selfish; it wasn’t just him suffering. He picked up his phone with shaking hands. His eyes welled up with tears once more when he saw the picture of Jack, his Jack, smiling back at him. Usually he can handle it. Some days it’s nice to see his face and he feels comforted. Today is too much.

It’s been a year but everything still hurts.

He remembers the note. He knows it by heart. That doesn’t stop him from taking it out and reading once more. Mark knew Jack wasn’t okay. He knew. It didn’t help. Jack told no one how much he felt. Mark thought they told each other everything. They usually did. 

It’s been a year but he still remembers.

He gasped and fell against the wall, sliding down. Everything was too much. He considered joining him. The love of his life, his Seán, his Jackaboy. He wanted to. He wanted to so bad. But he didn’t. Not yet.

It’s been a year and he’s all alone. Well he’s not, not really. All their - his - friends are around. But would they miss him? It wouldn’t matter. Not if he was gone. It hurt. It hurt so much.

Mark glanced at the paper in his hands. There it was. The last thing he said before he left forever. Mark wasn’t sure he could read it through his tears. It didn’t matter; he knew what it said.

_ ‘I had to go. I’m so sorry, Mark. I swear I am. I just can’t do this anymore. I should have said something, I know, but my mind was messed up too much. Nothing could save me. _

_ Here felt like the living were dead and being dead would be living. I couldn’t do this anymore. Please understand, I’m happy now. It’s okay. We’re okay. We’re going to be okay; I’m happy now. You can let go.’ _

He can’t let go. He took a deep breath. Soon, he thought, I’ll be with you soon. He stood up and walked to the medicine cabinet. I’ll be with you soon.

He sat back against the wall. He felt truly sorry for Amy who was coming over later to see if he was okay. Of course he wasn’t okay, not yet.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. I want to be with you again. Soon, my love. Everything was becoming hazy. 

It’s been a year and he’s finally joining him. His Jackaboy. I miss you too much.

Everything finally muted. Almost there. He let go.

‘ _ It’s okay. I’m happy now.’ _

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't beta'd. My usual beta doesn't work with this fandom so please excuse any mistakes (or let me know about them)
> 
> Also please feel free to leave any prompts in the comments if you'd like to see more writing


End file.
